It’s amazing how often real life is more entertaining that fiction. This is an actual (official) email that I just wrote and sent:
It seems that the rat from the bathroom reached XXX last night and caused quite a stir among the female and not so female staff this morning. It has now taken refuge in the store room and may end up consuming most of our bandwidth, literally.
Kindly have it eradicated at the earliest to avoid any damage to the equipment or the staff’s strong and courageous image.